hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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