ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Even my vagina gasped.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
