He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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