They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have already put on my inside pants.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
