I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
