I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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