I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
