Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
