Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
