return my video game
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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