the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
