He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
