dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
