Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are two peas in an std pod
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
