yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need a beard to bite.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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