Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
