Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
