Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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