I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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