But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
