so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
