if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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