their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
