another moral hangover. fuck.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
