i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
