I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
