i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
