I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
