Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
