I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
