It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize