This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
