I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
