Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize