I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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