Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
