Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
