Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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