This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
