I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize