I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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