direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
