I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
