I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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