I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
