its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize