I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My vagina just clenched in fear
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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