Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
