Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
