the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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