i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
