I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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