I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
