my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
