I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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