We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
