benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
