i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
