What did we do last night that was yellow?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
